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| take it or leave it said the salesman. he left it. he regretted his decision and tried to get the same deal again but this time it was different. this one had many holes and rips and tears, but he still wanted it. this was his treasure. he'd do anything for it. it helped make him who he was and who he wanted to be. he wanted to hold on and never let go. when it was ripped from what he wished were cold dead hands he lost himself. he lost who he was. he pushed his friends away to chase the wind. he lost his belongings. he lost his hope. he lost his faith. he went to try to shake his misery. he gambled with what he had left and lost it all. he thought of ending everything. ending his life. too scared he thought but actually it was that he still cared. now walking through a scorching desert with no companions or food or water or shade or even a walking stick wanting to die but not being able to, he saw an oasis in the distance. he approached the oasis but realised that it was just a mirage. he had reached rock bottom. this journey was too harsh. he turned around and said i should atleast be burried in my home land. with the rest of his strength he travelled back to where he started. he passed out half way and thought it was the end. he woke up to see his companions around him. they had not left him they had just given him space. although he could not get the object he so wanted back atleast he had his companions. together they crossed the desert to a better life. he found a new prize and will hold that closer to his heart then the previous one. he will learn from all he has been given from the one who provides. the reason this man got his companions back was because he said what he felt and never kept anything inside. he learned his lesson and took advantage of all oppertunities. "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr.suess | | |
| what the hell? everything is in your will? this better lead to something good. you let this happen. you left me alone in this mess. i tried to do so much for you and i got nothing in return in fact i lost all that i was thankful for. i want my life back. you said ask and you will receive, i've been begging with my tears. you said pray and you'd hear, i've screamed my pain at the top of my lungs. you said knock and the door will be open, when will it open it's pouring rain out here, just like my eyes pouring out water. take this away. i don't want to carry this anymore. i don't wanna keep walking. why is this happenning to me. where are you? is this fair? what did i do? do i deserve this? why won't you say something to me? i can't do this anymore. hold me now. i'm six feet from the edge and i'm thinking, maybe six feet ain't so far down. i need something new something different. life sucks when it's lived like this. new years resolution here i come. | | |
| i guess i'm back. haven't written in a while. it's christmas :) i expected to get a lump of coal but i got a bit of everything. i didn't make a wish list but i'm sure if i had i'd be more disapointed than i already am. we all want the gifts that money can't buy but are we ourselves ready to give those gifts to others, and even if we are, are they willing to accept that gift. i think it is the most dreadful thing on earth when you're willing to give everything to someone but they don't take it. it ruins lives. this christmas i hope than not only are we willing to give but we are also willing to take what others are willing to give and be thankful that others are willing to give more than money to you. abercrombie sweater $108...... Sony Ericsson W850i $450..... PS3 $650.... there are some gifts that master card can't buy.... those gifts are out of love from the heart. so remember to not only ask or recieve but to give equally. it's christmas be nice :) p.s. "I guess" isn't really an answer to anything | | |
| try to experiment with love. if what u have is true love the result will always be happiness because there isn't an independent variable that can affect its results. i don't suggest you try it though.
if you think about it we are all mountain climbers. all eager to reach the top of our relationships, school, jobs, etc. we get to the top and we sit there for a while happy of our accomplishments, you might even have a fellow climber with you celebrating with some bubbly. but to your dismay, when you're sober you discover that you don't know how to get back down. you realize the only way down is to jump. sometimes your selfish greedy friend wants the mountain for himself/herself and decides to push you off. whether you jump, trip, or were pushed you will still fall from the mountain. you will land on your face, bleed, cry and hurt, you will suffer a lot of brokeness and sadness, but you will still be alive. you will heal have scars and other things left inside of you from the healing process. you might not function the way you used to. the experience has changed you for better or worse. we will get up from our fall when we can and we will be the idiots that we are. we have a passion to climb these damn mountains so we will find a higher steeper more challenging mountain and we will climb the friggin thing and when we are at the top we will fall again. harder and faster. we will hit the crap at the bottom with more velocity than the previous fall. we will hurt more. we will have more brokeness, more bleeding, more suffering. this viscious cycle will never end and we will never learn because we cannot. crash and burn. everytime. over and over again. | | |
| love written on a beach can be washed away by the tides. love written in the clouds can be blown away. love in the media can be over looked. love on a sign trailing an airplane can be shot down. where is love safe? | | |
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